Inferiority Complex

Inadequate, incapable, subordinate ... these are words that describe feelings of inferiority. We don't believe we're sufficiently capable enough to perform a task. They're often experienced when we judge ourselves and then compare that judgment to others.

We find ourselves in a situation where we believe we are inferior to other people. Many times these feelings are entirely inaccurate. In no way, shape or form do they reflect the reality of an experience. Even so, because of influences which can sometimes be traced back to our childhood, we feel like we're playing second fiddle to everyone else.

When this experience is occasional, it probably is no cause for alarm. When it happens frequently, it can be a sign of an inferiority complex.

Do you routinely analyze your behavior, especially in relationship to what you believe others are thinking about you? Are you quite certain that whenever you leave the safe confines of your home, that you're being judged by others?

This chronic insecurity about your self-worth and abilities can negatively affect so many aspects of your life. Most of the time, that thinking is misplaced.

Stop Worrying about What Others Think, Because They're Probably Not Thinking About You at All.

When you feel like you don't measure up very well to others, it can be very unsettling. You may realize there are things you can do that most other people either can't do very well or can't do at all. That makes you feel good. On the flip side, the person with a complex of inferiority believes that in most situations most of the time, and in most environments, they are lower in status and ability than just about everyone.

This happens when a person worries about what others are thinking about their appearance, their actions, their abilities, their beliefs, and just about everything else that makes them who they are.

Guess what? Most people aren't thinking about you.

So that means if you're feeling inferior because you believe others are judging you negatively, you're wasting an opportunity at greatness. At the very least, you're stressed out and anxious needlessly, and those emotions can lead to physical and mental health problems.

On the other side of the coin, let's imagine that someone really is spending mental energy critiquing or judging you. You're doing something right or wrong, and they notice. In this situation, your feelings of inadequacy might seem to be justified.

But are they really?

You can't control the thoughts of others. In many cases, you can't control your own thoughts. You have literally thousands of thoughts every day. Some of them last less than a second. That doesn't mean they're correct or that they should be acted upon. Many of them are created due to negative self-talk and your brain simply processing information and cleaning house.

Since you can't control even your own thoughts, don't give them power. Choose a more positive thought if your ideas lead to feelings of inferiority. If someone is or isn't thinking about you, you have no power over that. So you're wasting your time by feeling inadequate.

The only thing you control in your life is how you respond to your thoughts. You can't change the thoughts of someone else. And quite frankly, if you think other people are worried about you most of the time, truthfully, they aren't.

Kick feelings of inadequacy and inferiority to the curb by realizing that other people aren't worried about what you're doing most of the time. If they do, who cares? Don't give them that power over you. Choose to remember that you are capable and skilled in so many ways.

Then any time you experience angst or anxiety because you're trying to live in someone else's head, stop it. This pointless activity is causing you needless mental stress and strain, and that's keeping you from being your best self.

You are the only person who has control of the thoughts in your head. While you might believe that your inner voice is looking after your best interests, this isn't always the case. Your self-talk is frequently critical. It tells you that you're incapable and inferior and you don't measure up well compared to others.

This can create a vicious cycle that feeds on itself.

People who feel inferior don't try as hard. Sometimes they withdraw from human interaction. When they see themselves as incapable of socializing normally, their feelings of inadequacy grow. So they withdraw even more. The snake eats its tail, and this damaging cycle continues.

Do you feel inferior or not as good as others at times? That's normal, but if you experience these feelings regularly, you may have an inferiority complex. The best thing to do is talk to a mental health professional. They'll recommend some or all of the following five methods for overcoming a chronic belief that you're not as good as others.

1 – Express Positive Affirmations.

Talk to yourself positively. Do this when you experience negative emotions or thoughts of self-doubt. Speaking to yourself positively rather than negatively helps erase feelings of inferiority.

2 – Talk Therapy.

This is likely the first treatment method your therapist is going to turn to. It can help you cope with any symptoms of an inferiority complex that may be limiting or harming you. The goal is to identify unhealthy patterns of behavior and what causes them.

A review of past experiences and memories can help you uncover why you constantly compare yourself to others and see yourself on the weaker side of that comparison.

3 – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

CBT is a typical practice in psychotherapy. It works to make a patient aware of negative thought patterns that lead to incorrect beliefs and sometimes self-harm. This practice teaches that thoughts are not always facts that should be acted upon.

4 – Journaling.

Writing down your thoughts and feelings is incredibly therapeutic. This is something you can start doing this yourself before you seek the help of a trained healthcare professional. Just start writing. There's no wrong or right way to get your feelings down on paper.

5 – Medication.

A trained and licensed psychotherapist will turn to medication, usually as a last resort. The medicine prescribed is often to treat symptoms of an inferiority complex, such as depression and anxiety.

Chronically feeling you're inferior isn't healthy. It can swing a wrecking ball through your life and damage the quality of your personal and professional relationships. Inferiority complexes are treated successfully using the five practices we just listed. They improve your self-image and confidence while helping you view yourself as a quality individual.

There are many ways to treat an inferiority complex. Sometimes talking with a therapist helps to show an individual that their mindset is unjustified. In some cases, medication may be prescribed. One successful treatment protocol is Adlerian therapy, named after its founder.

Psychologist Alfred Adler developed several theories about psychotherapy and feelings of inferiority. He founded the idea of an inferiority complex in the first part of the twentieth century.

His treatment system is based largely on a person’s viewpoints. We sometimes have beliefs that might not line up with what’s really happening. Someone who chronically feels anxious and inferior has belief systems that are keeping them from creating a desired outcome, or achieving a goal. In many cases, many of these views and beliefs are incorrect. They're totally unjustified.

If you want to plant tomatoes, you can't use sunflower seeds. No amount of positive thinking and the best gardening skills is going to turn those sunflower seeds into delicious tomatoes. It just isn't going to happen.

This is what Adlerian therapy hopes to identify. It focuses on an individual's insights and beliefs. If they want desperately to get from point A to point B, and this is something that's very achievable, why isn't it happening? What does the person believe as opposed to what's really going on?

Feelings of Inferiority Often Come from Negative Patterns.

We all have bad habits. Did you know some of them are rooted in your childhood experiences? This is what Alfred Adler believed. Adults develop negative patterns of behavior due to things that happened to them as children.

Through talk sessions, these damaging childhood experiences are identified. The adult is shown how to reframe current thoughts and beliefs based on those issues endured as a child.

A part of this treatment includes a practice called values clarification.

A therapist helps a patient clearly identify what values are the most important to them. Then they show how damaging childhood-based patterns of behavior are keeping them from living according to their values and achieving the things they find truly important.

This is a proven way to boost feelings of self-worth and self-pride. People suffering from an inferiority complex learn to stop living their adult lives viewing the world through childhood lenses. The wide-reaching damage that chronic feelings of inferiority can cause can be dramatically reduced, and in some cases, totally eliminated with Adlerian therapy.

There isn't always a right or wrong way to do something. Choosing the therapist to treat your inferiority complex is like that. You can talk to friends and get a reference. Perhaps you use the Internet to check out local mental health professionals.

Whatever you do, you should be applauded. You're actively seeking an answer to your situation, and that's commendable. So many people move through life wondering if they could create a better reality. They're not sure that their mindset, their beliefs, and the actions that come from those beliefs are correct or appropriate.

Even with the idea that they can improve their mental health in some way, they take no action.

Sometimes it's because they're afraid people will make fun of them. They could be scared about what a therapist will tell them. They simply don't want to find out that the issue is bigger than they had imagined. So they continue to suffer mentally and emotionally in so many ways.

Maybe you've already decided on a therapist at this point. Whatever stage you're at in the treatment process, there are certain things you need to ask to make sure you give yourself the best treatment possible.

Do They Accept Your Insurance Provider?

This is important, so you keep as much of your hard-earned money in the bank. Even if you have plenty of savings and view this as an investment in your health, and you should, why not let your insurance take care of the cost?

Have They Treated Inferiority Complex and Chronic Feelings of Low Self-Esteem Before?

A therapist doesn't necessarily have experience treating different mental health conditions and complexes. Most people don't ask this question because they just assume a good therapist has experience treating a number of conditions. Make sure you ask this question to get the best care possible.

What's Going to Happen during a Typical Session?

You know there's going to be a question-and-answer session with your therapist. Then you'll have a conversation covering relevant areas. It's still a good idea to ask what a typical session is like, as well as how long it lasts.

What Psychological Philosophies or Theories Influence Your Treatment?

There are different principles and treatment protocols which are based on psychological philosophies. Find out what has influenced your therapist and what treatment method he is going to be using. Then do your own research. Some treatment protocols will make more sense to you than others. This can help you feel comfortable about the therapist you choose.

What Do They Consider As an Area of Expertise for Them?

Do they specialize in treating one or a few mental health issues? Are they more of a general practitioner?

How Long Have They Been in Business?

There are certainly going to be therapists who deliver great results with their very first patient. Still, you might have more confidence in someone who's been in business for a while.

Checking out online mental health directories can help you find a therapist for treatment. A few popular and reputable directories include those found at GoodTherapy.org, PsychologyToday.com, and Zencare.co. Use them to locate a therapist and then ask the questions above to ensure you're getting the best care possible.

Sharks can smell blood up to a quarter of a mile away. Over their ancient history as apex predators, they've developed a killer instinct that tells them blood is a sign of weakness. Some people are like this when they detect inferiority. They pounce on the person who's feeling inadequate and move in for the kill.

That makes people with an inferiority complex uncertain and sometimes even fearful in public settings. Sometimes we are our own predator. We prey on ourselves. When we begin to feel like we're not as good as other people or don't measure up, we attack. We beat ourselves up, and this only furthers feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy.

It really doesn't matter what's causing you to feel inadequate. There's a simple fix that makes you feel good and can influence more emotional highs than lows in future situations. You just do more of what you love.

Your Passions Speak to Who You Are.

What are you really passionate about. What are the things that you love thinking about? If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be? What would you choose to do in your spare time if there were no restrictions or barriers?

Whatever you answered is something you're passionate about. It appeals to your core values and your strong beliefs. This is a part of who you are.

It can be vastly different from one person to the next. That doesn't mean that one person is wrong and another is right. What you really enjoy doing is right for you as long as it's healthy, even if it isn't right for someone else.

Now think about the emotions you experience when performing this activity or action. You feel great! At the very minimum, you have feelings of calm and peacefulness. When you're really into something you care about, your emotional feelings can be euphoric. The positive feelings you receive are accompanied by a release of feel-good chemicals that are designed to reward your pleasure center.

The way you were created combined with your experiences, your history, and your personality, means that you have a high level of self-esteem, self-love and happiness when you do certain things.

The next time you're feeling inferior and compare yourself to others, just do whatever it is that you really love doing.

You Don't Have to Be Good at What You Love.

By the way, you don't even have to be good at something you love doing. You might experience joy and happiness when you go bowling with your friends. It doesn't matter if you're excellent, average, or terrible at bowling. If that experience creates positive feelings and you smile days, months, or years later when you remember those times, that's an activity that can crush feelings of inferiority.

Do what you love doing more often. Engage in healthy, safe experiences, and you're going to feel inferior less frequently. You might even find yourself moving away from environments or people that are the source of your inadequate feelings, and that's a good thing.

People are sometimes too forgiving. We mention this in relation to how most people use the word "friend." If someone asked you whether friends were good or bad, you would unabashedly say they're good. You attach the word friend to positive emotions and feelings.

In truth though, many people in our lives should really be classified as acquaintances rather than friends. We don't spend quality time with them, although they're in our lives from time to time. You may never ask them out to dinner or join them on vacation.

Yet you're a good-natured person, so you consider them your friends. In truth, they may be the most wonderful people in the world. In some cases, though, they're more negative in their influence. They let you down and make you anxious and insecure, but you easily forgive them.

It Might Be Unintentional.

Just because a family member or friend might occasionally make you feel inferior doesn't mean they're doing it on purpose. We all have silent programs running in our minds and our lives. We do things because of subconscious or unconscious influences.

We may not even realize that what we say jokingly or even with the intent to compliment might be very damaging and hurtful. The same could be true for those people in your life that make you feel like you don't measure up.

Apologies Don't Stop the Pain.

Feeling inferior hurts. You begin to question yourself in just about every aspect of your life.

Am I really inadequate? I used to think I was above average in many ways, but now I'm not so sure. Did they say what they did because they were trying to help me or hurt me?

This type of inner self-talk is damaging. When it happens in response to something your friend or family member does or says, it can hurt you in so many ways. As we just said, the person that caused your feelings of inadequacy might not have done it intentionally. Even so, that doesn't keep you from hurting.

You can have a heart-to-heart conversation with the people you love to try and fix this issue. In many cases though, you're going to have to divorce yourself from people who bring you down. They may say that's not their intention. Even so, they could be motivated by some unconscious reason or influence they can't control or change.

Who Makes You Feel Good?

Start surrounding yourself with people that uplift you. You deserve to be happy every single minute of every single day. We all do, and you are no exception.

Your inferiority complex might be linked to the people you spend the most time with. If this is the case, cultivate a happier, more positive, and empowering circle of friends and acquaintances. None of us know how much time we have here on earth, so why not spend that time with people that make you feel awesome. Help them feel the same way, and you'll spread positivity and feelings of great self-worth rather than anxiety and self-doubt.

Do you always find yourself analyzing things that go on around you? Do you feel inferior to others more than just every now and then? Do you sometimes tell yourself you're worthless and incapable of doing things other people can? These are typical thoughts we get from time to time.

The person who suffers from an inferiority complex has these thoughts day in and day out.

There are few things that fill them with happiness. They strive for perfection and never realize that good enough is good enough in a lot cases. An inferiority complex can also cause envy and jealousy, with someone wishing they were a different person entirely.

Constantly believing they don't live up to everyday standards deals a blow to their self-image. That's a shame because, in many cases, these people have wonderful abilities. They are accomplished and capable in so many ways. An inferiority complex doesn't let them see this. The image they see in the mirror and in their mind's eye is that of a person that's inadequate, substandard, and not good enough.

One way to treat this problem effectively, whether your feelings of inferiority are chronic or occasional, is with self-care. Here are a few ways to take care of yourself, so you build up your self-image and self-esteem. That's a surefire way to keep feelings of inferiority and inadequacy at bay.

Get Seven or Eight Hours of Sleep Each Night.

Poor sleep habits can cause brain fog, poor memory recall, impaired brain function, and physical performance issues. When this happens regularly, a slew of more serious health problems can develop, both mental and physical in nature. A watered-down performance mentally, physically, and even emotionally is almost guaranteed from chronically not getting enough sleep.

Start Eating Right.

You know the drill. A healthy diet includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, filtered water, and herbal teas. You eat little to no sugar and salt and few highly processed foods.

When you start eating right, your mind and body begin to heal and feel better. You are naturally more capable of seeing yourself as a quality individual rather than doubting your self-worth.

Exercise.

The human body was designed for physical movement. You going to be happier and healthier when you're physically active more than when you're sitting and sedentary. Moderate to intense physical activity is linked to improved mental health and wellness.

Do Something That Makes You Smile Every Day.

Feelings of low self-esteem and inferiority disappear when a smile lights up your face. It's tough to feel negative and inadequate when you're smiling and happy.

Schedule More Relaxing Moments.

Relax. Seriously, we could all benefit from more relaxing moments in our hectic, crazy lives, couldn't we? Stress can lead to anxiety, physical and mental health problems, and feelings that we aren't living our best lives. Schedule relaxing moments more frequently, and you'll feel better about who you are.

These are some simple ways to take better care of yourself. Self-care can treat a number of mental and physical health issues. Start taking better care of yourself today, and feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem won't be as common tomorrow.

The most successful people know what they're doing every day. They write out a schedule in a physical or virtual planner. At a glance they can tell what they need to do today, tomorrow, next week, and even next month. They might have meetings, vacations, and social events scheduled more than a year ahead of time.

This works for kids and adults, women and men, and people of all walks of life. It's because the human brain was designed for efficiency. The human mind works best when discipline, order, and organization are all present. That's what a schedule and a plan give you.

If you're tired of feeling inferior or incapable, you can instead choose positive emotions by scheduling empowering self-talk sessions.

Why Is Your Unconscious Self-Talk so Negative?

Psychoanalysts, therapists, and other thought-based health professionals will never agree on everything. One thing they will agree on wholeheartedly is that the human mind and psyche are sometimes hard to figure out.

A dozen of these mental health authorities might give you a dozen different reasons why your self-talk is so negative. While they don't agree with the causes all the time, they do agree on the outcome.

Negative Self-Talk Can Damage You in so Many Ways.

Why is our inner conversation so negative most of the time? There are lots of reasons. Some people believe that traumatic events or experiences as a child still influence our adult thoughts and behaviors. Others point to this constant "What if" questioning as a survival instinct. They believe our minds are continually and ceaselessly imagining the worst possible outcomes to prepare us for that eventuality so we can take steps to prevent it from happening.

For whatever reason, a lot of the conversations you have in your head silently are negative. Guess what? They're just thoughts. Unfortunately, if you begin to believe them, you can experience uncertainty, self-doubt, and feelings of inferiority.

To Silence These Harmful Voices, Schedule Positive Conversations Instead.

Yes, you really should write this down somewhere. Schedule positive self-talk sessions just like the most successful people schedule every minute of their lives. Having this available in virtual and physical forms is the best practice. You schedule positive pep-talk sessions with yourself. It's up to you if you want to make these vocal.

You can just quietly talk to yourself for a couple of minutes a few times a day. You empower yourself by remembering that your inner voice can be damaging, and most of the time, it's not even operating from a place of truth. Then you tell yourself you have wonderful skills and abilities and have created positive outcomes in the past. This proves you're capable of doing that today, tomorrow, and in the future.

Have two or three of these conversations every day. You'll begin to silence your inner critic. It also helps you fight off feelings of inferiority and inadequacy that can keep you from living a full and happy life.