Break Free: Take Control of Your Life Today

Does your day pretty much move along on autopilot? This can make you feel like you're just along for the ride instead of heading in a direction you'd really like to go.

You have so many things in your life you have to do right now. You've got to work today. You have to eat; you might have to do laundry when you get home or clean the house. Students spend a lot of time studying and, of course, must attend class.

Parents have so many responsibilities related to their children. In all of these cases, a person can feel like their life is dragging them along against their will. There never seems to be time to get back on track to chase down those dreams that mean so much to you.

Sometimes this happens because we consciously hand our life's car keys to someone else. We basically say, "Here you go. You're the driver now, and I'm just here to find out where we're going."

You might not think you're guilty of this behavior, but you may be. Consider the following scenarios.

·        Today is the first day you'll finally start writing that book. It's been a dream of yours for years. You desperately want to be a published author for so many different reasons. You have a day off from work and know exactly how you will start. Then an old friend calls. They're in town for a few days. You haven't seen them in years. You ditch starting your novel to spend time with your old friend.

·        You're exhausted. It's been a tough work week, and the kids have been driving you crazy. But they're spending the night with a friend, and you finally have time to clean and organize your home. It drives you crazy when everything's messy and disorganized.

You're looking forward to making some progress. Instead of getting started, you rationalize that an hour or two of television will let you decompress. Then you can begin. Before you know what's happened, you've ordered delivery pizza, your rear-end never moves from your sofa, and you wake up having made zero progress tomorrow.

In both situations, you have allowed someone else to steer your ship. You are not in control of where your life is headed. In the first example, get started on your novel. Your friend is in town for a few days. You can see her tomorrow or the next day. The most important part of writing a book is getting started.

In the second example, cleanliness is very important to you. You lose control when everything is messy, and nothing is in its proper place. Is the combo of comfort food and bad TV more important than the wonderful feeling of accomplishment and self-pride you get from a clean, organized home?

Sometimes we let other people control the direction of our life because it's easy. Other times it's because it feels comfortable or familiar.

If you feel like you need more control, look at the choices you make every day. Do your decisions mean putting off chasing your dreams? Do you never feel like you have enough time to do what's really important to you? Maybe that's because you prioritize meaningless, time-wasting activities over things that can help you create the life you want.

If so, start making small changes. Maybe do one small thing each day that gives you more control. You'll eventually be back in the driver's seat, steering your life in the direction you want.

We all have big dreams when we're kids. Many of us have some dream life we're trying to create. That's not true of everyone. Life can be so demanding and hectic that you put off worrying about the things that are important to you. You'll get to them later or not at all.

This reality exists for many people. Others feel they have no control because they're not asking enough of themselves.

They are content to get by. This is not the person they always were. They had big dreams and big plans. Then life did what it inevitably does to a lot of us. It got in the way. After years of living an okay but not great life, those dreams and plans don't seem so realistic.

That's because the current reality doesn't support the belief that something wonderful can happen. The person in this example decides to be happy with their "good enough" life rather than fighting for the "life I really want" existence.

They may feel out of control, but they begin not to care. This is sometimes the product of insufficient motivation.

Multiply Your Motivation.

Right now, you might feel like you're working for nothing. You don't put much into the bank at the end of each month. You've got a little bit of savings but nothing substantial. You have to keep going to work every day to get by.

What if you saw your job as something that could get you where you want to go? Instead of using weekly and monthly bills as motivation, you mentally attach your career to some big goal.

You multiply your motivation.

The person who goes to work to pay the bills doesn't have much motivation to get promoted and accept new responsibilities. The person whose motivation is to retire in 20 years with a specific lifestyle in mind will look at their job differently.

With added motivation comes control. The more you're motivated to do, the more responsibility you feel you have. You begin to look for ways that you can control the things you need to make your dream a reality. This doesn't happen when you have small motivation. Your motivation must be big to erase that out-of-control feeling that small thinking can lead to.

Human beings are stubborn animals. We try to accomplish something in our lives and fail. The problem might be we didn't approach the issue the right way. We were trying to use an omelet recipe for baking a cake. We didn't have the right process, resources, or skills to do the job.

Even so, we stubbornly keep banging away with the same activities and efforts that lead to failure. This is not going to lead to the desired result. You have to change the process to change the outcome.

If you're not where you want to be right now, you've got to stop doing some of the things that got you here. If you continue living life as you have in the past but want to create a new and wonderful future, it's probably not going to happen. You'll continue to get what you've been getting instead of what you want.

This causes feelings of frustration and stress. You might begin to question yourself and your abilities. After this goes on for a while, some people give up altogether. They feel so out of control that they throw their hands in the air and say, "I quit."

Don't let this happen to you. The next time you start feeling out of control, as if your life has a mind of its own, stop what you're doing. Take a few deep breaths. Find a quiet place.

Visualize Your Goal.

Then go back to the vision of your wonderful life in the back of your mind. Close your eyes so you can't see what's happening around you. Go to that place where your perfect world exists. You can use this to get more control over your actions, whether you're pursuing some huge goal or you want to be successful at some small task.

It would be best if you also gave yourself visual motivation.

Make a vision board (people call it a dream board). You include pictures, photos, and words that exist in your dream reality. Include what success looks like to you. Again, this isn't only applicable to long-term goals.

If you want a certain amount of money at the end of the year, write that number on the board. Figure out what you need to get there. On your vision board, include words like "savings," "sales," "part-time job," and "$100 per week" or whatever applies to your goal.

You take your vision from the busy and distracting world around you to your dream board, your vision board. This can redirect your energy consciously and subconsciously to feel more in control. You feel like you can make this reality happen when you're constantly focused on it.

Do this anytime you feel like life is about to bowl you over. It takes you back to the things that are important to you and can give you a sense of priorities.

Then you direct your actions toward those things you need to do to get what you want out of life. You'll get more control over what's important to you and less stress and frustration.

Do you ever look at your life and wonder how you ended up here? Your life may be pretty good. You might have many things you want, and you're surrounded by quality people. Even though, when you look at your life as a whole, you know something's missing.

You had big dreams and goals when you were young. Then life just seemed to distract you and keep you busy. Unfortunately, you weren't busy doing the things you wanted to. Responsibilities and "have to" activities filled your day. The years flew by, and now you're here.

The big dreams you had when you were younger are still important and fresh in your mind. You would love to chase them down and make them realities. The problem is, after so much time feeling like you're out of control and life was doing whatever it wanted with you, you've come to believe that you aren't capable of realizing some big dream.

Don't Think about Where You Are, Think about Where You Want to Go.

This is a common situation. Limiting beliefs hold you back, and they exist because you look at the reality you're in right now rather than the reality you can create.

It's easier not to do something than it is to do something. It's much easier to continue unhealthy eating habits than clean your pantry, shop for healthier alternatives, and start making healthy meals. It's easier to not go jogging than it is to go jogging! And it's easier to believe that your current and past realities are all you're capable of experiencing than it is to do something about that.

The next time you tell yourself you're too big or too fat, too skinny or too small, too "whatever" to accomplish something, stop. Quit beating yourself up. You're making excuses. You're capable of doing whatever you decide you're capable of doing.

If you continue to embrace limited thinking, you'll get limited results. You'll continue to feel like you're out of control, and you'll never have and experience the things that are important to you. Unlimited thinking leads to unlimited results. You create your dream world by believing in big things, not small things.

If you want more control in your life, stop putting limits on yourself. Decide what you want. Then figure out what needs to be done to get it. This puts you in control of your actions rather than continuing to believe that you can't have the life of your dreams.

It can be frustrating when outside influences control much of what you do. We were told that to be happy and have a good life, we would have to work for someone else for 40 or 50 years (maybe more).

That's okay if it works. Maybe you're fortunate enough to work at a job or career you love. If you are, congratulations. You're one of the few who have this blessing in your life. You can look to any number of polls that tell you the same thing about workplace happiness ... it doesn't exist for many.

Many of us toil at jobs we don't really like. We would choose different bosses and coworkers if at all possible. Other aspects of our employment aren't what we had hoped for, either. On the other hand, your bills don't stop coming just because you decide to quit work.

So many people head to work daily and put their noses to the grindstone. They work a tiresome and thankless job because they have to. This can cause resentment of themselves and their coworkers or boss, frustration, chronic stress, and many other negative emotions.

That leads to the feeling that they are not in control of their lives. Other people tell them when to work, how to work, and what to do. They are told when they can take a restroom break, when to eat lunch and how much time before they have to return to making the company some more money.

That's a common situation people find themselves in that leads to a sense that they are not in control of their lives. The simple and short answer is they need to fire their boss.

You Can Fire Your Boss a Little Bit at a Time.

We understand you need money coming in. We do too. Money is a necessary evil in life. It's a necessary commodity.

So you probably can't pick up the phone right now and tell your boss where he can go. That's not a possibility for most people.

You can fire your boss a little bit at a time, though.

We're talking about giving yourself more control over your life and rewarding yourself with a sense of accomplishment. You take the reins of your life and control your financial future by starting a business that you work part-time while you stay employed with your full-time gig.

This is how some of the wealthiest and most successful people have created their dream realities. You can too. Start an Internet-based business from home. Turn a hobby into a part-time business. Find a need and fill it.

Working 10 hours a week on a side job is possible for many people with busy lives, families, and jobs that demand their attention. That's 520 hours a year, making money on the side of your regular income source.

In either situation, you feel you have more control over your life. And if something happens to your full-time job, you have something to fall back on. There are many reasons why firing your boss a little bit at a time is emotionally and financially rewarding. It can help you feel like you have more control over your life, and what beats that?

Nutritionists will tell you that most eating is driven by emotions rather than physical hunger. That's scary. Look at your own life and see if it isn't true. How often do you put food into your mouth because you're trying to respond to some emotion or experience rather than because you are truly hungry?

If we only drank as a call to real thirst, we would always drink water. We love sugary, flavorful drinks that aren't good for us because they do what so many beverages and foods do. The chemicals in them are designed to create a positive emotional response in the human mind and body.

It's why a lot of people love chocolate.

Some are addicted to chocolate treats and don't know why. One of the reasons is that chocolate produces feelings and emotions that are closely related to how a person feels when they are in love. This has been proven in scientific experiments.

A man or woman might unconsciously turn to chocolate during emotional distress. This is just what someone would do if they were stressed out and in a relationship. They would turn to the person they love to seek support and help. In this case, the beloved partner is replaced by chocolate.

Some of us turn to baked goods, pastries, pies, cakes, and bread products as emotional crutches. Many of these food choices contain sugar. Sugar is the king of simple carbohydrates, and it's quickly processed. It enters the bloodstream almost right away.

This gives you that sugar rush that some people become addicted to. It makes them feel good. So when emotions make them feel poorly, they eat foods that cause poor health and bad emotions in the long term, but happy feelings right now.

Eating to Feed Emotions Rather Than Hunger Only Causes a Temporary Feeling of Happiness.

The emotional eater eventually comes back down to earth. They began feeling regret for what they did. They know it's unhealthy, and it only treats their emotional needs for a short time. Their self-image is tarnished, and they may even express feelings of self-hatred.

Guess what those negative feelings lead to? That's right, the pattern repeats itself. Emotional eating begins again, which can cause a person to feel totally out of control.

If you think your eating might be out of control, do this.

Every time you eat anything, big or small, ask these questions before you start. Are you truly hungry? Are you eating to try to soothe some emotion?

Then drink a glass of water. It fills you up momentarily.

This gives you time to think about your choices and can give you back control over your eating habits.

No one is ever going to have total control. Even if you take absolute charge of your existence, there will be things other people need to provide for you. That's just the way it is.

From time to time, you need to spend time with your friends and loved ones. It makes you feel good. Without this feeling of belonging and people caring about you, it just wouldn't feel the same.

You need farmers growing food that eventually ends up at your grocery store and on your dining room table. Someone had to make the car you drive and the clothes you wear.

These are just reminders that you will never have absolute control of your entire existence.

But in many ways, we feel like we don't have enough control. We feel like outside influences are directing our actions. It's like a car shows up at your home every morning, and you're forced to get in. You're in the backseat as a passenger, and life is driving you.

Your bills are driving you. Society and marketers and your cell phone and other exterior influences are driving your life. You want to get back on track and in the driver's seat, but what can you do?

You've tried several times to get more control over where your life is going. Try as you may; you make little to no headway. So what can you do differently?

Look inside Yourself.

We feel out of control when we let external influences drive our behavior. Here's what we're talking about.

You want to go on a dream vacation at the end of the year. So you need to save money now. But there's plenty of time for that. Right now, there's that expensive suit you're dying to get. Everyone will tell you how fabulous you look when you wear it. So the external influences of fashion and compliments take the driver's seat. The end of the year arrives, and you don't have the money needed for your vacation.

If you look inside when you're considering buying the suit, you might make a better choice. You realize that vacation is much more important than fancy clothes that will quickly be out of style and old news. It's very important to you. So you skip making the suit purchase now, and eventually, you're rewarded with the vacation of your dreams. You looked inside for your motivation rather than outside.

When you turn to internal motivations and let them influence your decisions and actions, you begin to take true control over your life and where it's headed.

When making choices, ask yourself where the motivation is coming from. Letting external sources influence the decisions you make can slowly take control of your life out of your hands.

When you look inside at what's truly important, you find the ability to control your decision-making process. You put yourself back in the driver's seat, and that means controlling where your life is headed.

Can you drive your car from the backseat? Maybe you have some new technology that allows you to drive your car as a passenger. The rest of us can't. We have to be in the driver's seat to pilot our vehicles. We can't control what's going on and where we're headed as passengers.

Do you sometimes feel that you don't have much control over your life? This could be true in your relationships or finances. Perhaps you hate not having enough time to do the things that are important to you. You feel like most of your life deals with responsibilities and tasks you're forced to handle. No one ever asks you what you want to do or what's important to you.

We all sense that we're sometimes passengers in an out-of-control vehicle headed for disaster. The problem is we also feel helpless much of the time. We see that we are not headed where we want to go, but there's little to nothing we can do to fix this problem.

This can lead us to rationalize not caring. We justify that there's no reason to try to get control because life will throw us back into the situation. After all, you've been trying to get control of your life for years or maybe decades. You don't feel like you've made much progress. Why should you try to get control now?

Don't fall prey to this way of thinking. The answer to more control in your life and a better chance at realizing your dreams might require nothing more than a change of focus.

In other words, stop trying to control what you can't control. You'll never drive a car without sitting in the driver's seat. You will probably agree with this. Yet we often try to control life as passengers. That's not possible. You can't take your car keys and pilot any vehicle you want. These are two examples of trying to control something you can't control.

Shift your focus to the things in your life that you definitely have some influence over. These are areas where you can take charge. You can control a particular outcome or at least influence it greatly.

Start looking for important areas of your life where you can exercise control, even in a small way. It would be best to look for things you're doing that are basically slamming your head into a brick wall. You can continue to do it over and over, but that wall is not coming down. In other words, please stop trying to exert influence where it does no good.

Simply changing your focus in this way can give you more control in your life. This means less stress and anxiety and more positive results. It puts you back in the driver's seat, so your life's journey heads in the right direction.